how far i’ll go | oahu

Two weeks.  Those days, marked one by one in ink on a physical calendar, served as a strong motivator at the end of what turned out to be a very long winter of waiting.  Not because the waiting was especially troublesome or traumatic but simply because I wanted to plan out my life. Despite my love of impromptu travel, I love a good plan, particularly those that involve calendars and checklists.  And when it comes to the big life stuff like career, community, and places to live, I want to be able to organize it all into neat and orderly boxes. Instead of being in Type A nirvana, I found myself in my own personal purgatory beginning last fall when I applied for a new position of sorts, one that would take me away from NYC.  I submitted my application just before Thanksgiving and as the stagnancy of the unknown sunk in with the approaching winter, I spent a solid 4 months wondering where I would be come summer.

The decision to seek out a different home base was not a new, and certainly not a sudden, realization for me. I have wanted to leave the city swing of things pretty much ever since I moved there more than a decade ago.  In fact, I half-heartedly attempted to move out when I spent 6 weeks in Jamaica a couple of years ago only to return and make the arduous trek from Brooklyn to the Upper West Side.

I have nothing in particular against New York City.  It’s just that generally speaking I don’t really like living in cities.  In order for me to be a functioning human being, I need a whole lot of outdoors time and that can be a bit hard to come by in the ole concrete jungle.  Yes, you can seek it out and find those pockets of green and sun and mountains and sand (a certain Grace Freeman excels at this). But it requires quite a bit of effort and also leads me to be in a constant state of wanderlust, always wondering where and when my next escape will be.  Case in point, I traveled to five states from when I submitted my application in November to when Grace and I left for our trip to Hawaii this past March.

outrigger canoe oahu hawaii.jpg

Yet, while I told myself that I wanted more than anything to move away from NYC, I have had a hard time taking the steps to actualize that goal.  Except for a 1 year stint in Uganda, I have spent my entire life living in the state of New York. The move out of my childhood locale to the big city was more of a natural progression than a leap into the unknown.  A far cry from the drive and excitement that typically surrounds an NYC transplant. My relocation to the closest city from where I grew up was mostly due to ease and a bit out of necessity.

This is not to say that there are not parts of New York that I love – my lovely friends, the closeness of my family, the nearby mountains to explore (…or large hills), and my easily attained salt air fix to name a few.  Despite the difficultness that is life in NYC, in many ways it was easier to stay and so that’s what I did. I would talk about my grand plans to leave but sign another year lease, putting it off for just another 12 months, all the while daydreaming about what was next (and complaining about the present to a few lucky individuals).

However, when this opportunity presented itself last year, I somehow managed to take the bait and submit an application.  As fate would have it, the week before Grace and I left for Oahu, I found out I had been accepted to the program and would be moving from NYC to the far away land of Washington, DC in just a couple of months.  I am not sure why now seemed like the right time for my life to get flipped turned upside down.  The DC area has never been at the top of my list of places to move to and it is a far cry from my wanderlust of escaping the urban madness.  I feel like I should have some explanation that pulls it all together, like some sort of profound insight, but instead all I’ve got is this.  

As we boarded the plane at JFK, I wanted nothing more than to spend some lazy days on the beach with one of my best friends, breathing in some salty air and letting my winter skin soak in the tropical sun.  That may not seem like much of a vacation plan but it was all I could think about from when we booked our flights until our plane touched down on Oahu. This was not my first foray into Hawaiian life and unbeknownst to me, I had some strong feelings and expectations leading into it - mainly lots of sun, sand, and ocean time.  What we ended up with was an absurd amount of rain, cloud cover, and chilly temps. Even my non-planning plans were stymied by Mother Nature. I would like to say that I handled the disappointment with grace (heh in a way I did) but to be honest I was pretty bummed about it and still dealing with all the emotions of finally moving.  Let’s be honest, I am probably still dealing with those emotions and I have been living here in DC for almost a month.

All of this is to say, I was not my best self.  But you know what? It didn’t really matter. Grace and I were still able to have an amazing trip.  And not because the sun decided to shine at just the right moments or I finally figured out my life.  But because I was traveling with a friend who knows me (and loves me, if I do say so myself :) ) well enough to put up with my mopey, emotionally confused bum, hold me accountable when needed, and scope out all the contingency plans the crazy weather called for while I aimlessly drove us all over the island.  In other words, Grace and I still explored all the things (in matching raincoats, of course), ate an absurd amount of açai bowls, and even squeezed in some epic seaside naps. And in case you were worried about us living out all of our Moana dreams, don’t you fret. Our last morning in Oahu was full of sunshine, which was perfect for some outrigger canoe surfing courtesy of some kind folks.  

All in all, our trip ended up being just what I needed.   

notes:

we will have another post up next week that provides a breakdown of the how, what, where, etc. but until then we highly recommend you sign up for HawaiianMiles - the rewards program for Hawaiian Airlines - to get early notice on flight deals. (we don’t get anything for you clicking that, it is just how we managed to get a sweet flight deal on our trip to Oahu.)

you doubted me on the Moana reference in the title, didn’t you.  if you somehow have not yet seen Moana, it is still streaming on netflix.  you will not regret it.